The last he had seen of his idol was in the video of “We are the world” and to him that was just a cameo. Girls now liked Wham, Prince threatened his generation and his star faded.It would be 1988, the year that came to late when Michael released Bad and the boy no more danced. Still believing though, he embarked on a boys expedition along railway lines to a local whites only (and some Indians) shopping mall to buy his idols new release on audio cassette. When he played it, in fact fast forwarding through the tracks hoping for echoes of Thriller, he was disappointed, this was different, it was not the same, the music though grew on him and some are now his most beloved classics to listen to. He was growing older… “Hey baby baby with the high heels on” was just making sense, girls were giving him fever and he had never felt like that before.
It would be a couple of years later that he would get his hands on “Off the Wall” and that made him dance again, to his astonishment, he was never aware of this album, the enormity of Thriller had blocked it from him, besides he was only 3 when it was released. He went on to buy that CD three times in his life and the whole 3 times it was somehow lost or stolen, he will buy it again and again if need be. Off the Wall seemed to have kept his hunger at bay for any new Michael Jackson material besides he was growing older, the idol weirder, but the star was still an old friend he would have liked to hear from again.
In 1991, MJ released Dangerous, the boy listened, the dance aloof, the relationship strained, now aged 15 he was becoming a man and Jackson looked half the man. Ironically the only song that struck a chord with him and lent a nostalgic smile was “Remember the Time”, it was his personal favourite of an album not meant for him. By the time the once star struck boy had realised his former idol had a skin disease that disfigured him completely he was too much tainted by the world, its criticism and his own cynicism, he thought…for the star who cried wolf was now the sheep in wolfs clothing.
HIStory would pass, the dance would still not come but Michael did. In 1997, Michael Jackson’s History Tour came through South Africa, Durban. Now a young man; he set out to go watch this mythical creature he once worshipped. He was completely swept by the voice though not impressed by the moves for he was so far back, he had to look upon a big screen and from that point of view he had seen him do better. Most around him revelled in the hype yet he only saw lights, camera, action and aside from a small medley of his favourites but one credible new song rung out, “You are not alone”, it was Michael’s last real hit to him.
In late 2001 Invincible was released and proved to him Jackson was no more credible abandoning any hope of a last dance. What annoyed him most was upon hearing, that an up and coming young producer at the time, Pharell Williams, had offered songs to Michael for that album and it was refused by his then manager. Consequently these were given to Justin Timberlake for his huge debut hit album, he made you dance but to him it was really meant for Jacksons vocals and resurrection. To add more regret, Pharell released his single “Frontin” just after, another meant for Michael, a truly wanting fans retro Jackson renaissance and Williams knew the nuance.
Years went by and he watched from afar the former child star, reports of strange bedfellow companions that claim to have been mishandled, and a court case to complete with scandal. Jackson was found not guilty yet he was gone financially, he was now a father and had to act accordingly. Rumours flew around that a new Album was abound and so fleeting thoughts of one last dance drew close. When I heard people speak of Michael Jackson’s weird announcement of his last concerts to be held, I had to go see on Youtube what was the fuss about… his repetitiveness was haunting and sadly… it was his final say.
His age only ever really hit me at the time of his death, he was 50, yet he was expected to perform in the only way he knew. He was never going to go gracefully, he could not get away just crooning or performing ballads unplugged, this was the King of Pop, duty meant he had to oblige and do what he had done since he was five… Dance.To me, I felt many did not regard him in the years prior to his death, yes he had his legacy but in a sense, he was lost already, it was like he had outstayed his welcome and like a legend he should have went 10 years ago.
Ultimately, his swan song was his passing and rather poetic that in only death will he ever truly match the spectacle that was Thriller, when he swept the world in hysteria, his music blowing across continents, past apartheid, playing out to millions in a race divided South Africa from Black Townships to Indian Settlements, and even to White suburbs. RIP Michael Jackson, a Benjamin Button of our time, I once was your fan too.
By Luciano Vandyar (2009) on twitter @LucaVanCharli
